Cream ke advt mein face dikhaya.
Soap ke advt mein Hath Dikhaya.
Shampoo ke advt mein Baal Dikhaye.
Par whisper ke advt main kuchh nahi dikhaya.
Jaago grahak jaago!
----- "पापा मैं कैसे पैदा हुआ"?
पापा - बेटा मैं और तेरी मम्मी पहली बार Yahoo Chat Room में मिले थे। फिर हमने एक Cyber Cafe में पहली मुलाकात थी। तुम्हारी मम्मी के Software देखकर मेरे Hardware को प्यार हो गया। फिर हम एक कमरे में घुस गए क्योंकि हमारा CPU गर्म हो गया था। तुम्हारी मम्मी मेरे Pen Drive से Download करवाने को राज़ी हो गई। लेकिन जैसे ही मैं Upload करने लगा, मुझे अहसास हुआ कि हम लोगों ने न तो Anti-Virus का इस्तेमाल किया है और न ही Firewall का। अब तो इतनी देर हो चुकी थी कि Delete या Escape Button का इस्तेमाल करना भी मुमकिन नहीं था।
छः हफ़्तों बाद तुम्हारी मम्मी ने मुझे Internet पर Chat करके बताया कि उसका Operating System किसी Self-Extracting File के चलते Unauthorized Program Activity दिखा रहा था,
जिससे उसका System Slow हो गया था। वह Self-Extracting File तुम्हारी मम्मी के BIOS में Load थी। नौ महीने बाद एक Pop-Up दिखाई दिया, जिसमें लिखा था, You've Got Mail (Male)!
------- Anil road par nanga bhag raha tha.
Sunil ne usse rok kar poocha: Arre bhai aisa kyun kar rahe ho, kyun nanga bhag rahe ho, tumhe sharam nahi aati?
Anil: Kyun ki aaj tum jaldi ghar aagaye, Issi liye.
-------- Ek pagal nanga bazar mein ghoom raha tha
Uska wo bahot bada tha,
Ek aurat ne dekha to boli
Hamara desh tarakki kaise karega
Saare kaam ke admi to pagal hai
--------- P. Nehru was f**king Victoria.
On climax, Nehru droped semen on bed.
Victoria: Andar kyun nahi nikala?
Nehru: Gandhiji ne desi maal videsh bhejne ko mana kiya hai.
-------3 Girls having lunch.
1st said: I saw the condoms in boss drawer.
2nd said: I also saw & punchered them.
3rd Said: Haramzadi pehle batana tha na !!
-------Son: (pointing to the breast) Mom ye kya hai?
Mom: Ye balloon hai.
Son: Mom aapke balloon kamwali ke balloon se chhote kyun hain?
Mom: Tune kamwali ke kab dekhe?
Son: Jab papa hawa bhar rahe the.
----- Husband : Main ye roz roz ke condom lagane ki jhanjhat se pareshan ho gaya hoon.
Wife : To phir tum lamination kyun nahi karwa lete!
----- Lady: Doc. I got brown discharge at my vagina �. is it infection?
Doc: How often do u hve sex?
Lady: Once a month.
Doc: Yeh infection nahi, zang lag gaya hai!!!
------ d does shiney like?
A: Home Maid !
Q: Who is Shiney�s fav football player ?
A: Bai Chung Bhutia
Q: What is Shiney Ahuja�s fav subject?
A: Bai-ology
Q: In cricket, what way does Shiney get most of his runs from?
A: Leg-Bai-es.
Q: Which Song did Shiney sing with N�Sync
A: Bai Bai Bai !
Q: What is Shiney�s fav Enrique Iglesias song?
A: Bai-lamos
Shiney Ahuja took the �Where in Mumbai should you live� Facebook quiz, it said he should live in the suburb of Bai-culla.
Q: Why was Shiney Ahuja picked by the Ministry of External Affairs for a official foreign trip?
A: Because he is bai-lingual.
Q: What did Shiney Ahuja say to the police?
A: Let the bai-gones be bai-gones. Let me go home
Q: Why did Shiney Ahuja rush into the doctors dispensary?
A: Because the doctors sign-board said Bai-pass surgeon.
Q: Why was Shiney Ahuja shooed away by the guards outside a public event?
A: Because it said Bai-standers not allowed.
Q: Why did Shiney Ahuja hop on Virar-express train ?
A: Because it stops at Bai-andar station.
Q: Why did Shiney Ahuja want to be in the governing body of an organization?
A: Because he wanted to pass a new bai-law
Q: Why does shiney Ahuja like horror movies ?
A: Because he can see Bai-yanak scenes
Q: What type of code did Shiney Ahuja write when he was a programmer?
A: Bai-nari code
Q: Why does Shiney Ahuja like the Chinese?
A: Because he heard the slogan �Hindi-Cheeni bai-bai�
------- Girl Friend: Mera rishta aaya hai aur shadi hone wali hy.
Boy Friend: That's Good,
Phir to hum condom ke bina sex kar sakenge.
------
Soap ke advt mein Hath Dikhaya.
Shampoo ke advt mein Baal Dikhaye.
Par whisper ke advt main kuchh nahi dikhaya.
Jaago grahak jaago!
----- "पापा मैं कैसे पैदा हुआ"?
पापा - बेटा मैं और तेरी मम्मी पहली बार Yahoo Chat Room में मिले थे। फिर हमने एक Cyber Cafe में पहली मुलाकात थी। तुम्हारी मम्मी के Software देखकर मेरे Hardware को प्यार हो गया। फिर हम एक कमरे में घुस गए क्योंकि हमारा CPU गर्म हो गया था। तुम्हारी मम्मी मेरे Pen Drive से Download करवाने को राज़ी हो गई। लेकिन जैसे ही मैं Upload करने लगा, मुझे अहसास हुआ कि हम लोगों ने न तो Anti-Virus का इस्तेमाल किया है और न ही Firewall का। अब तो इतनी देर हो चुकी थी कि Delete या Escape Button का इस्तेमाल करना भी मुमकिन नहीं था।
छः हफ़्तों बाद तुम्हारी मम्मी ने मुझे Internet पर Chat करके बताया कि उसका Operating System किसी Self-Extracting File के चलते Unauthorized Program Activity दिखा रहा था,
जिससे उसका System Slow हो गया था। वह Self-Extracting File तुम्हारी मम्मी के BIOS में Load थी। नौ महीने बाद एक Pop-Up दिखाई दिया, जिसमें लिखा था, You've Got Mail (Male)!
------- Anil road par nanga bhag raha tha.
Sunil ne usse rok kar poocha: Arre bhai aisa kyun kar rahe ho, kyun nanga bhag rahe ho, tumhe sharam nahi aati?
Anil: Kyun ki aaj tum jaldi ghar aagaye, Issi liye.
-------- Ek pagal nanga bazar mein ghoom raha tha
Uska wo bahot bada tha,
Ek aurat ne dekha to boli
Hamara desh tarakki kaise karega
Saare kaam ke admi to pagal hai
--------- P. Nehru was f**king Victoria.
On climax, Nehru droped semen on bed.
Victoria: Andar kyun nahi nikala?
Nehru: Gandhiji ne desi maal videsh bhejne ko mana kiya hai.
-------3 Girls having lunch.
1st said: I saw the condoms in boss drawer.
2nd said: I also saw & punchered them.
3rd Said: Haramzadi pehle batana tha na !!
-------Son: (pointing to the breast) Mom ye kya hai?
Mom: Ye balloon hai.
Son: Mom aapke balloon kamwali ke balloon se chhote kyun hain?
Mom: Tune kamwali ke kab dekhe?
Son: Jab papa hawa bhar rahe the.
----- Husband : Main ye roz roz ke condom lagane ki jhanjhat se pareshan ho gaya hoon.
Wife : To phir tum lamination kyun nahi karwa lete!
----- Lady: Doc. I got brown discharge at my vagina �. is it infection?
Doc: How often do u hve sex?
Lady: Once a month.
Doc: Yeh infection nahi, zang lag gaya hai!!!
------ d does shiney like?
A: Home Maid !
Q: Who is Shiney�s fav football player ?
A: Bai Chung Bhutia
Q: What is Shiney Ahuja�s fav subject?
A: Bai-ology
Q: In cricket, what way does Shiney get most of his runs from?
A: Leg-Bai-es.
Q: Which Song did Shiney sing with N�Sync
A: Bai Bai Bai !
Q: What is Shiney�s fav Enrique Iglesias song?
A: Bai-lamos
Shiney Ahuja took the �Where in Mumbai should you live� Facebook quiz, it said he should live in the suburb of Bai-culla.
Q: Why was Shiney Ahuja picked by the Ministry of External Affairs for a official foreign trip?
A: Because he is bai-lingual.
Q: What did Shiney Ahuja say to the police?
A: Let the bai-gones be bai-gones. Let me go home
Q: Why did Shiney Ahuja rush into the doctors dispensary?
A: Because the doctors sign-board said Bai-pass surgeon.
Q: Why was Shiney Ahuja shooed away by the guards outside a public event?
A: Because it said Bai-standers not allowed.
Q: Why did Shiney Ahuja hop on Virar-express train ?
A: Because it stops at Bai-andar station.
Q: Why did Shiney Ahuja want to be in the governing body of an organization?
A: Because he wanted to pass a new bai-law
Q: Why does shiney Ahuja like horror movies ?
A: Because he can see Bai-yanak scenes
Q: What type of code did Shiney Ahuja write when he was a programmer?
A: Bai-nari code
Q: Why does Shiney Ahuja like the Chinese?
A: Because he heard the slogan �Hindi-Cheeni bai-bai�
------- Girl Friend: Mera rishta aaya hai aur shadi hone wali hy.
Boy Friend: That's Good,
Phir to hum condom ke bina sex kar sakenge.
------